When Perfect Becomes Paralyzing

Vince Lombardi once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence. But what happens when the chase itself becomes the problem?". 

Society tells us to aim for perfection, but what if perfection is the very thing holding us back?

From 1989 to 2016, data has shown that perfectionism has been on the rise and maybe a leading cause of anxiety and depression. We have a culture that values perfection. We see it in shiny social media posts, in the stories of overachievers, and in the pressure we put on ourselves to perform. But beneath the shiny exterior, perfectionism has a much deeper story—one of triumph and struggle, of promise and danger. It is a story that also involves fear and anxiety, where the relentless pursuit of perfection can build constricting stress, self-doubt, and even crippling fear. Perfectionism, while seeming to be positive, tends to propel inner turmoil, holding us in a self-perpetuating cycle of exaggerated expectations, incapacitating anxiety, and moments of panic when life does not conform to our ideal.

Perfection is both beneficial and detrimental to mental health. According to the World Health Organization, a record number of young people worldwide are suffering from serious depression or anxiety disorders. It is an ideology that helps people break past the chains of what they believe they can do. It brings out their hidden potential and the ability to strive for excellence. The things that once felt limited and impossible seem to be close within reach for excellence. People who view perfectionism in a positive light view things in a results-oriented way. This thought process allows for thinking about the future, and the effects of your actions. These people often reach their goals and life aspirations.

The majority of people succumb to the downside of this trait: setting up extremely high expectations. This ideology sets one up for failure and regret. 

From a psychological and neurological standpoint, perfectionism is deeply tied to the brain's anxiety response.

Perfectionists often experience:

•  Hyperactivity of the amygdala – Perfectionists have an overactive amygdala, which is the brain's fear center. This makes perfectionists more vulnerable to panic, excessive worry, and avoidance.

• Constant stimulation of the sympathetic nervous system – The constant stress of trying to be "impeccable" keeps the body in a state of fight-or-flight, which translates into high cortisol levels, racing heart, and even upset stomach.

• Reduced cognitive flexibility – Perfectionists tend to be inflexible, all-or-nothing thinkers, so they are more likely to experience themselves as failures even when they commit small mistakes—a chief trigger of panic attacks.

Research backs this up:

• 92% of people struggle with perfectionism in at least one area of their life. (Psychological Bulletin, 2018)

• Perfectionism is linked to higher levels of depression, anxiety, and burnout—especially in students and professionals. (Harvard Business Review, 2019)

• People who chase perfection are more likely to procrastinate, fearing their work won’t be good enough. (Journal of Behavioral Science, 2020)

So the questions are: 

• Where do we set the limit?

•  If perfectionism motivates us but also paralyzes us, how do we strike a balance? 

• How do we strive for excellence without freezing in fear of imperfection? 

It starts with shifting our mindset: the way we define success.

Most perfectionists define success in absolutes—"Either I win, or I fail."

success is not

 either/or  

black or white

win or fail

It's a gradient. It's about progress,

the small wins,

the incremental steps,

 the things we discover along the way

Instead of measuring success by perfection, it’s recommended that we should measure it by growth.

That’s where SMART goals come in.

SMART: Specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, time-bound.

This method doesn’t just set goals—it reshapes how we think about achievement. Instead of chasing an illusion, we create clear, attainable steps that lead to real progress.

SMART Goals: The Key to Progress Without Perfectionism

Instead of striving for flawlessness, strive for progress.

How do you do that? By setting SMART Goals—a system designed to shift your focus from perfection to growth.

S – Specific

Instead of vague goals like “I want to be better at public speaking,” set clear, defined objectives like:

“I will practice delivering a 3-minute speech in front of the mirror every day.”

M – Measurable

Perfectionists tend to chase intangibles—wanting something to feel “right” or “flawless.” Instead, make your progress trackable.

Instead of “I need to improve my grades,” say “I will score at least 85% on my next three tests.”

A – Attainable

Setting impossible standards guarantees frustration. Be ambitious, but realistic.

If you’ve never run before, don’t aim for a marathon in two months. Aim for running 3 miles non-stop within 6 weeks instead.

R – Relevant

Not all perfectionist goals even make sense for your life. Ask yourself: Is this goal truly important to me? Or am I chasing it because of external pressure?

Instead of “I need to be the best artist in my class,” try “I will complete one full painting every two weeks.”

T – Time-Bound

Perfectionists tend to delay things indefinitely. A firm deadline forces action.

Instead of “I’ll start my project when I feel ready,” commit to “I will finish my project outline by Friday at 6 PM.”

Anxiety thrives in uncertainty. Perfectionists often feel stuck because they fear failure, fear judgment, or feel overwhelmed by unrealistic goals.

SMART goals give structure to uncertainty, making overwhelming tasks feel clear, actionable, and achievable.

Instead of asking "What if I fail?" ask "What is the next right step I can take?"

Why? Progress beats panic every time.

So, as Vince Lombardi once said, “Perfection is not attainable, but if we chase perfection, we can catch excellence.”